At Anja and Patrick’s wedding

Leo was an angel. He was whelping during the ceremony, but otherwise quite quiet all day. Taking it all in, he was – watching the children running around, and enjoying the different views. There was a string quartet playing for most of the afternoon – for about fifteen minutes, he became very calm and concentrated on them.
Anja and Pat looked fantastic, and were glowing all afternoon. There was a very relaxed, unhurried feel about the day – which i think was due to the influence of so many Danes around the place.
Leo had a nap, and then slept, on a bed in the house – making some other parents envious of how easy we find it to take Leo to new places.

It was a lovely day, but at times I found it quite hard. I was very aware of the difference between me and the other, slightly younger people at the wedding. I felt a gulf between me and most of their friends that i think was my keen awareness (whether carrying him or the monitor…) that i had a son and they didn’t.
By the time the evening came, i felt that that everyone had cliqued, but that Claire and I hadn’t because we’d been Leo-focused. That made me withdraw a little – an emotional state i haven’t had for a while. And of course probably an innaccurate assesment of the situation, but that’s as usual. I think that my historic preference for small groups played a part as well.
I might have pulled out of my dip, were i not so lacking in small talk. I do Leo, and work. That’s about what my life is now. Rewarding though i find them, i don’t really do much else – not that’s conversational with groups of near-strangers, anyway. I don’t really want anything else – films, books and the like don’t seem so important now – but even i know i can’t just talk about Leo and the Museum for four hours.


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