London bombs

Terrorist attacks today. Very worried about Claire to begin with – trusted Leo was fine. Worked out she was fine, but on edge generally all the time. As to be expected.
I left work about 3.00 to walk to Ealing to get Leo. Odd walk – seemed quite ordinary. Business as usual.
At work, Gina had asked me about a work thing. The ensuing conversation was really weird.
-i don’t really care, i’m just worried whether my wife and daughter are ok
-do you realise what you just said?
-yes. i don’t care about work, i’m worried about my wife and daughter.
So why did i say that? And twice? Many possible explanations. Feminising Leo – denying the masculine/violence in him? Making clear his closeness/similarity with the female i love? Making him needy of protection by being feminine?
Times like this all the basic, deep prejudices such as gender perceptions will come out.
Claire and i really don’t want to live in london. Too early to have a reasonable reaction, though.


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